


Dirty Little Secret

by HandwithQuill



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: AU, Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-18
Updated: 2014-10-07
Packaged: 2018-02-09 08:13:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1975599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HandwithQuill/pseuds/HandwithQuill
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Repeatinglitanies prompt: Mr Gold and Belle have a clandestine sexual relationship. So clandestine that each think they are the other’s dirty little secret.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this was going to be an angsty oneshot, but as I was coming to the end, I found that I couldn't make myself do the ending I planned. So, this will have another chapter or two. Also, as always, this is un-beta-ed. :sigh:

A small whimper slipped through Belle's throat as she blinked awake. It took a couple of seconds to see that, yes, the sky outside her window was starting to lighten. She used to love the fact that it got light so early in the summer, now she found she couldn't enjoy it. With a sigh she rolled over to face the person sleeping behind her. His longish hair had slipped over his face and she reached up to push it back behind his ear, but ended up curling the silver streaked strands around her finger. 

She leaned in, letting the tips of their noses brush as she placed a chaste kiss on his lips.

“Jasper,” she whispered against his lips “You need to wake up.”

He moaned and she could feel his eyelashes brush against her cheeks as his eyes fluttered open. When they were open, he moaned a much more happy sound and snaked his arm around her waist, pulling her closer as his mouth landed on her's hungrily. 

She gave into the kiss for a few moments, needing this kiss more then she should. She couldn't remember how she had wanted him, couldn't remember the first time she saw Jasper Gold walking the streets of StoryBrook and found that she couldn't look away. What she did remember was that day sometime last year when he came into Granny's Dinner and all the seats were taken. She had taken a deep breath and ask if he would mind sharing her booth. He had accepted with a curt nod and they had eaten their meals in a somewhat tense silence. But after that day, when they passed each other around town, he would give her a polite nod. 

A polite nod became a passing greeting became a quite conversation in the Library or his shop when no one was there, which late one night, in the darkest corner of the Library stacks became kisses. Kisses that took them upstairs to her apartment. 

Afterward, laying next to each other on her small bed, neither said anything as he dressed. They had avoided each other for the next few days, until, just as she was closing, he came to the Library.

Her reaching for his hand to stop his mumbled awkward apology somehow ended up with them on one of the Library tables. He stayed in her apartment that night, but left when the sun rose. That was the start of it. Every couple days he would show up at her apartment, sometimes with dinner or movies. Sometimes she would slip into the back of his shop when he had no customers.

She broke the kiss and turned to look out the window. It was getting lighter. She sighed and pushed him away as he started to kiss down her jaw.

“Belle.”

“No,” She said, grabbing his hand as it started to slip down to cup her rear. “You need to go. Before the town wakes up.”

She rolled out of bed and fled into the bathroom because she wanted it, so badly. Wanted to stay in bed with him all morning. Wanted to not have to be careful not to leave a mark when he cornered her for kisses. Wanted, just once, to be able to go up to him, peck him on the lips in greeting when they ran into each other at Granny's. Wanted to be _seen_ with him.

But it wasn't to be.

So, she finished up in the bathroom, took a deep breath, and put a smile on her face before opening the door. 

The smile turned real when she saw him. He was dressed, standing by the door, but fiddling with his cane. She stepped up to him, placing her hands on his chest, caressing upwards to reach the nape of his neck and fix his collar. “There,” she said, before moving her fingers into his hair. 

“Belle,” he sighed, leaning back into her caress. “Belle, I-” He cut himself off, clenching the hand he was raising to her cheek and dropping it to his side. He switched his cane to that hand and collected hers in his other one. “We never finished the movie.”

She looked over her shoulder to glimpse the TV. The DVD menu screen was still displayed. “No, we didn't” she turned back to him. “Next time?”

He nodded and with one last kiss, he opened the door and left. She listened to the step-tap as he made his way down the stairs and out the outer door. It was only then that she shut the apartment door, leaned back against it and wiped at the tears she refused to admit were there.


	2. Chapter 2

Jasper Gold quietly opened the door to the Library, peeking at the circulation desk. Belle wasn't there, but he smiled just the same. It was a little bit earlier then he would usually show up, but he made his way into the stacks. In the history section, she had a pair of oversized arm chairs with a small table between them, he put down the bag of take out containers and arranged them on the table. After it was just right, he sat in one of the chairs, a smirk upon his lips as he remembered the first time he saw her. 

_Two years ago now, he'd been standing at the counter in Granny's, waiting for Miss Lucas to get him his coffee to go. The young woman was scowling at him in the reflective surface of the coffee machine as she put the lid on his order. She turned, fake smile on her lips as she handed it over. Just before he grabbed it, she looked over his shoulder, eyes widening, before letting out a high pitched sound and letting the cup drop the few inches to the counter. She hurried around the counter and he turned to see her throw herself at a young woman who had just entered._

_He picked up his coffee and watched the two women hug, unable to leave as they were blocking the door way. He took a sip and burned his mouth as the newcomer looked up from the hug, her blue eyes capturing his._

_“Belle!” Miss Lucas exclaimed, “I can't believe you're here. Why didn't you tell me you were coming home!”_

_That told him all he needed to know of who she was. Belle French, the florist’s daughter. Gone away to college and back home, all grown up, to take over the town's failing Library_

_“I wanted to surprise everyone,” she said, pulling out of the hug_. 

_“Well, you did! Come on, Granny will be so excited!” Miss Lucas tugged her hand._

“ _Mr. Gold.” Belle nodded as her eyes caught his again as she was pulled along._

He's sure he must have seen her around town before then, but for the life of him, he couldn't dredge up a memory of her. A part of him is happy about that. He doesn't want to know what he'd think of himself if he could have the memory of her as a pig-tailed haired little girl along side of the memory of her under him in bed. 

All he knew was that after that moment, he couldn't not see her around town. She seemed to be everywhere. In her father's shop when he went in for his payment, in line in front of him at the grocery store, playing with Pongo when he took a walk through the park. And then that day so many months ago now, when she let him sit with her when Granny's was full. 

The meal was tense, but he knew what it had to cost her to eat with the town monster, so after that he tried to show her that he appreciated her effort. It really didn't take much to nod in acknowledgment when he saw her around town. A polite greeting only seemed natural after a little while. He still didn't know how polite greetings turned into small conversations or how small conversations turned into longer ones. All he knew was that in a few months the idea of seeing her made his day so much better. She was the only friend he had in town and he didn't want to jeopardize that with the knowledge that he was falling in love with her.

He knew he had few recommendations to himself, so he always stayed quiet knowing that she would never feel that way about him. He was also always aware of other people and how gossip ran rampant in small towns. He didn't want to bring her in to that, and knew it was the right decision when one day as they were talking in the Library, she cut off mid sentence and handed him a book, saying it was due back in a week just as someone entered. He understood her reasoning and went out of his way to make sure they were never seen together. But he couldn't help the little bit of hurt that he quickly buried, feeling guilty because he had no _right_ to be hurt. 

But even with all that he couldn't help himself, when late one night in the Library, helping her re-shelve books, he leaned in and kissed her. He was already panicking even as his lips lightly brushed her's. The greatest and best surprise of his life came when her hand cupped his nape to bring his mouth back to her as he pulled away.

That second kiss turned into a third, and a fourth, and more. He was speechless as she pulled away, took his hand and led him upstairs to her apartment. He was nervous as they collapsed onto her bed. Did his best to put his feelings into every caress, every kiss. For a moment, as they found completion together, he thought she might have understood. 

But after their hearts slowed and breath was caught, she said nothing. She just laid on the bed, staring at the ceiling. With a sinking heart, he stood and dressed. She still said nothing as he made his way to the door.

He tried not to think of it was he made his way home. Or during the next few days, which he stayed either in the pawn shop or his house. After days of not seeing her, he once again went to the Library, determined to do what every was necessary to get their friendship back. 

He wasn't surprised when she halted his stumbling awkward apology. What did surprise him was when, after telling him an apology wasn't necessary, she kissed him. He responded to the kiss before he realized it was happening, pulling her towards him and then on to one of the Library tables. Afterwards, she once again led him up to her apartment where they made love again. 

He understood her rules when she woke him up the next morning shortly before dawn, saying he should probably go. He loved her and was desperate enough that if this was all he could have of her, he would take it.

He shook that thought away as he heard voiced in the main part of the Library. As quietly as he could with his cane, he made his way to the end of the stacks. She was standing in front of the circulation counter, one elbow resting on the top. With her was the Knight Brothers. Jasper truly liked Lance Knight. He was kind and generous and lived up to his last name. His adopted brother, on the other hand, had always rubbed Jasper the wrong way. George was egoistical, having been a sports star in high school, he still thought he was beloved by everyone and thought it was his due. 

“I'm sure you'll love the book, Lance,” Belle was saying. “I couldn't put it down when I read it.”

“I'm sure I will,” He told her, moving to put it into his messenger bag. His brother grabbed it first, flipped through it. 

“Ugh! How can you enjoy this, it's just words!” He tossed it back to his brother, who scrambled to catch it before it fell and took a step closer to Belle. He copied her position with one elbow on the counter and leaned in. “So, when are we going to dinner, Belle?” 

She sighed and took a step back. “We're not.”

“Oh, come on. We can go anywhere you like, no matter how,” he stopped to leer and lean in some more, “ _expensive._ ” 

Belle took another step back, right into Lance, who stepped back and to the side to give her room. They stood shoulder to shoulder, arms touching. Jasper saw Lance open his mouth, but shut it after a slight nudge from Belle's elbow. 

“I will not be going to dinner with you, George. I have told you many times.” 

“Yeah,” George said with a laugh, “But you didn't really mean it.”

“I thought you said you were broke?” Lance interrupted, with another elbow tap to Belle's arm. They exchanged a look and she nodded. “You said that you have just enough to cover rent the month.”

“Oh, that,” he waved away, “I can handle Gold. A short crippled man like that is no worry.” 

“His nickname is not from his physical prowess,” Lance interjected, “he'll have you evicted before you can finish telling his you don't have his money.”

“True,” George sighed. “It's no wonder he's miserable, someone who's that much of a bastard probably hasn't gotten any in a while. No woman in her right mind would even think about it.” George laughed and gave a mock shudder. “Right, Belle?”

Jasper noticed that Belle had taken a step closer to the Circulation Desk, her arms wrapped around her waist. “Yeah,” she said softly, looking away.

Jasper didn't remember backing up, but sat down when the back of his knees came in contact with the chair. He squeezed his hands around the top of his cane to keep them from trembling. He didn't ever realize, he thought as he packed up the food containers, that somewhere inside he still held out hope that she might one day return his feelings. 

Obviously that would never happen. He looked back to where they were standing. George had left and Belle was now talking to Lance. His hand was lightly resting her arm as he spoke. She nodded at what ever he said, before patting his hand. They smiled at each other as the little that was left of Jasper Gold's heart shattered. 

This is what she needed. 

Someone who was kind, honorable. Someone as young and adventurous as she. Someone who could make her smile. Someone she could love. But most importantly, someone she wouldn't be ashamed to be seen in public with. 

He refused to admit there was moisture in his eyes as he slipped out the back door, for who could ever love a beast like him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Okay, for good or ill, here's chapter 3!

Storybrook, Maine was a small town. But it was big enough that not everyone knew every business. The places that everyone knew were the  
Town Hall, the Library, Granny's Dinner and, of course, Mr. Gold's Pawn Shop. The shop across the street had gone out of business a few years previously. The empty show case window were boarded up, creating a shadowy place to hide in the doorway. 

Lance Knight stood there, staring at the door to Gold's shop. His mind was compiling things he'd seen over the last year, but mainly the last conversation he had with Belle. He knew something was off the last time he was in the Library. His brother was a dick, but there was something more in her response to what George said. How she had wrapped her arms around herself and the look on her face made a very strange idea take shape in his head. He got her to agree to meet for lunch at Granny's a couple days later. 

_He wasn't surprised that she got there first, and he watched her before sitting down. She had a book open in front of her, but for once wasn't paying it any attention. Her head was turned towards the window, a pensive look on her face, while she picked apart the paper napkin._

_He slid into the booth and she looked over at him, a smile on her lips, but he could tell it was forced._

_Something was definitely wrong with his friend._

_“Hey, how's the book?”_

_“It's good, I'm halfway through. So, tell me what's going on?”_

_She tilted her head, a quizzical look on her face. “wha-?_

_“Belle, I know something is going on with you. The way you reacted in the Library the other day was enough, but you have a book in front of you and aren't going a mile a minute about it and I'm starting to feel sorry for your napkin.” He watched as she froze and looked down to where she was tearing apart the remains of her napkin. She dropped it and started to wring her hands, he grabbed them before she could hide them under the table. “It's something to do with Gold, isn't?”_

_She nodded, keeping her eyes down, before quickly looking around. He saw Ruby walking towards them and asked if she wanted to get their order to go. She nodded again._

_They were soon ensconced on a bench in the middle of one of the docks, their meals between them. He concentrated on his fries, letting her get her thoughts together. But when she didn't say anything, he opened the conversation._

_“Is he threatening you?” He really didn't think so, but it was more in kind for the rumors surrounding the man._

_“No!” She snapped her head towards him. “No, it's-it's nothing like that. I-I think I messed up.” He put his fries down and moved to the other side of her at the watery sound to her voice._

_“Start at the beginning.” He commanded._

_And she did. Told him about letting Gold sit with her at Granny's, about the man being nice to her from then on, about conversation and a friendship developing. How her feeling had passed friendship, but she was afraid to tell him. About how one night, about a year ago, they kissed in the Library, then more. How they avoided each other in embarrassment, then when he tried to apologize, she stopped him and kissed him. That they had been sleeping with each other since then._

_“But I know how private he is, so I've made sure no one would ever see us. But it hurts. I love him, Lance. There's so much to him that he never lets anyone see. Some nights we only talk about books, and not just to placate me, but because he's already read them. He admits it's snobby, but he loves Persuasion and is glad it's not one of Austen's more talked about books. He loves 40's movies, but isn't really a fan of World War 2 ones, he-”_

_“Belle.”_

_“-teases me about burning water, but can't really cook himself. He can speaks five languages, and beside being a lawyer, has a degree in history. He's a bit of a dreamer, he talks about us going to Boston or New York to see the museums, like we could do that quietly. He-”_

_“Belle!” Lance gripped her hands and knelt in front of her. When she stopped talking, he reached up and wiped at her tears. “You don't have to convince me. You just have to tell me why you're crying and why you think you messed up.”_

_Lance thought he already had an idea, but needed her to say it to be sure. He handed her a napkin and she dabbed her eyes as she took a couple of breaths._

_“I don't-” she cleared her throat. “I don't know what I did.” she told him. “I just know, he avoiding me. That day you were in the Library, we were supposed to meet, but he didn't show up. When I call or go to his shop, he says he's busy. As I said, he's private. Maybe I did something that was a little too public? Or maybe he figured out that I want more. Or-”_

_“No!” Lance cut her off. “No or! If either of those reasons are true, you don't need him. You are better then that, Belle!”_

_Her mouth opened and shut as she tried to think of something to say. Nothing came and her eyes filled. He sat back on the bench and pulled her to him as she started to cry._

He had kept many of his thought during that conversation quiet. His main concern was letting Belle let out the feeling she had kept bottled up for far too long.

Lance knew what most of the town would think if they had heard Belle's story. They would shake their heads at Gold taking advantage of the sweet young librarian. Some people would even have gone charging into Gold's shop to give him a piece of their mind about what a horrible creep he was. But Lance didn't do either, he took a couple of days to get his thoughts in order and now he was standing across the street from Gold's Pawn Shop. 

An image flashed through his mind as he stood there. It was something he saw weeks ago now. He had been picking his car up from the mechanic, and saw Belle and Ruby talking outside of the Library. Mr. Gold had been walking towards them, but Lance watched as he stopped a few stores away and watched them. Or rather watched Belle. The look on the older man's face had stayed with Lance because it's what he always saw on the faces of his adopted parents. 

It's what had him standing there and it's what had him walking across the street and into Gold's shop. The bell above the door rang lightly as he closed the door behind him. He had only been in the shop a few times, usually with George when their rent was due. It looked the same as it always did, but maybe a little different. He thought the instruments were on the left last time?

He took a few more steps into the shop when Gold came out from the back. 

“Mr. Knight?” Gold tilted his head to the side and the side of his mouth twitched before his usual smirk landed there. “What can I do for you?” He took the few steps needed to rest against the glass counter next to the register. 

With a deep breath, Lance walked up to the counter as well. “You can not hold what I'm about to say against me.”

“Oh?” 

Lance swallowed as Gold's eyebrows narrowed and the smirk became more menacing. “Yes, because it's to help Belle.” 

If Lance hadn't been looking for it he probably wouldn't have seen the flash in Gold's eyes. “I assume you mean Miss French? Why would I be interested in helping her?”

“She told me.”

“And what, pray tell, did she tell you?” 

“That the two of you were together, sort of.”

“She _told_ you that?” His voice shook a little and his eyes darted to the side as he swallowed.

“Yeah, she was upset, crying.” 

“Yes, well, she doesn't have to worry. I will trouble her no longer. I wouldn't want to cause her any more pain by my presents. She has already taken pains to not be besmirched by associating with me. If you would pass along the message?”

Lance blinked.

The man actually thought Belle would be happy if he stopped seeing her? Gold's lips were thin and his knuckles were turning white where they gripped his cane. Then he remembered something Belle had said that echoed what Gold just told him. _“...so I've made sure no one would ever see us.”_

Didn't these two ever _talk_ to each other!

“I don't think that would make her less sad.” he said, shaking his head slightly. 

“What?”

“Just, please, before you end things with her completely, talk to her.” With that, he turned around and left before Gold could say anything.

** ** ** **

Jasper stood in front of Belle's apartment door later that night, debating if he should knock or not. He had spent most of the afternoon going over what Mr. Knight told him. The fact that Belle told someone else about their relationship shocked him. But when he told Jasper that she had been crying, he immediately assumed he worst, as was his nature. When Lance told him to at least talk to Belle before finalizing the end of their relationship, the implications had thrown him. 

He truly doubted the man would advise him to do so if all Belle wanted to do was tell him in person that she hated the sight of him. If so, the last thing he and his Brother would have to worry about is their rent. As such, he could only think that Belle had told him that she _wanted_ their relationship. But he couldn't wrap that around her constant need to make sure no one knew of it. 

He sighed. The uncertainty was an unpleasant knot in his stomach. For good or ill, they needed to talk. So, he sifted the package in his hand and knocked on the door. 

He could hear movement inside, then the chain and lock being undone. Then the door opened and she stood there, blue eyes wide with shock.

“Jasper!” He nodded and they stood there awkwardly, before she stepped back and motioned him inside. He placed the package on the coffee table and they sat on the couch. The silence was uncomfortable, both shifted nervously for a few moments before he cleared his throat. 

“I had a visitor at the shop today.”

“Oh?”

“Yes, Lance Knight.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her stiffen, then slowly turn her head toward him.

“What did he say?” she asked, biting her lip. 

“He said you told him about...” He trailed off and waved between the two of them. 

“I'm sorry.” she said, twisting her fingers together. “I just needed to talk to someone. I don't-I don't know why he came to see you, but I'll talk to him tomorrow. I promise that he won't tell anyone else!”

Jasper gritted his teeth as his heart sank. Of course she didn't want Mr. Knight to tell anyone else. He would not blame the young man for apparently misunderstanding her, but he needed to get out of there before he made a fool of himself. 

“Right,” he sighed, grabbing his cane and struggling to his feet. “He also said that you were upset about it. If our association is causing you such distress, I'll go.” He picked the package up and made his way to the door. About to step through, he turned and caught sight of her. She was still sitting her couch, head tilted, eyebrows furrowed. “I”m sorry,” he found himself saying, “I'm sorry I couldn't be want you wanted. But this time with you have been the happiest I've been in a long time. Thank you for that and I hope one day you find someone who can make you just as happy and you could proudly be seen with.”

His throat was getting tight and quickly shut the door behind him before she witnessed him making a bigger fool of himself. 

** ** ** ** 

Belle blinked as the door to her apartment clicked shut behind Jasper. She blinked again as her heart pounded against her chest and her throat closed on a sob. She shot up and scrambled for the door, pulling it open so hard it bounced against the wall. The staircase was empty and she hurried down them and burst through the outer door just in time to see his Cadillac pulling away. 

She wrapped her arms around herself and leaned back against the wall as she watched his tail lights disappear around a corner. The sob she was holding in broke out and she blinked back tears as she made her way back up to her apartment. She gave them free rein as she fell onto the couch and curled around herself. 

She had been so happy when opened the door to him. That he had stopped avoiding her. The awkward silence between them unnerved her. The last time they has sat in an awkward silence was the first day at Granny's. Over the last year or so of their relationship, they always had something to say and any silences were spent relaxing in each others arms.

Taking a deep breath, she steeled herself to ask him the one thing she really wanted to know. What did she do wrong? But that was when he told her that Lance had paid him a visit. When he said that Lance said that he knew about them, she felt herself go cold. Lance _told_ him! She couldn't believe and had barely gotten over her shock as she rush to reassure him that she had told no one else. She had expected, at the least, a single nod, from him. One of his smile would have been better. Then maybe they could have had dinner. She hadn't eaten yet and thought she had the makings for a beef stew. So she was confused when he seemed to wince and grabbed his cane. 

Another sob escaped her as she remembered what he said. He thought she didn't want to be with him! That she was **_ashamed_** of being with him! She loved him. Wanted nothing more then to walk down the street arm in arm with him, letting everyone see how happy he made her. 

And now....now.......

She sat up, cutting off another sob mid-way out of her throat. Now nothing! Hiding their relationship went against her nature, but she did it because she thought it was want her wanted. Now she knows it wasn't, it actually caused the strain between them. She didn't do the brave thing. 

She stood and made her way into her bathroom. After wetting a cloth and patting her face, she stared into the mirror. Stared until she could accept the truth. 

This was her fault. 

She was the first one to hide their relationship, and he followed her lead. And she _knew_ him. Knew he wasn't the type to push for more then he thought she would give. Looking back now, knowing that he didn't want them to hide, didn't want them to be each others dirty little secret, she saw him trying. Tentative question to see if she was willing to go public. 

_“It's nice out side today. Perfect walking weather.”_

_“It's on a tour right now, the museum in Boston should have it next month. Would you like to see it?”_

_“When I got the rent from the Bed and Breakfast, I could smell Granny's Lemon cake cookie. They should be on sale by now. We could go check?”_

She cringed as she remembered her answers.

_“Yes, but it'll be a bit too cool when the sunset to go for a walk.”_

_“yeah, I'd love to see it, but I'd want to see it with you and it wouldn't look good if we were both out of town.”_

_“It'll be crowed now. Ruby will save some for me.”_

She slammed her fist on the edge of the sink. She messed this up and she was going to fix it! She pushed away form the sink and slipped into a pair of flats, grabbed her coat and keys. 

_'Do the brave thing,_ ' she thought to herself as she went to find Jasper. 

It was past time for them to talk!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter. While I _do_ like how it turned out, I am also concerned that it, I'm still not sure it's enough payoff for the angst. But it's the best I can do. As always no beta-ed by anyone but my poo- no-good-at-seeing-problem eyes.

The street was quite when Belle made it outside and turned towards the Pawn shop. The walk was quite, but short and she still didn't have what she wanted to say to him prepared. The shop was dark and when she went to the back door, it was lock. Walking a few steps away, she removed the spare key from where it was hidden. Eyes watering as she remembered him showing her. 

His hand on her's as he showed her the false brick. His chest pressed against her back as he leaned over and demonstrated the way to open it. His voice in her ear, _“In case you ever decide to visit me after hours. Of course you don't have to wait 'til then.” He wrapped an arm around her waist and nuzzled behind her ear. “Any time you spend with me is a gift I will never ignore.”_

How could she not have seen that he wanted to be with her. She sniffled as she unlocked the back door. There was no surprised, yet confused pawnbroker waiting for her. She sat on the small cot near the door, key clenched in one hand, the other wrapped around that one, both pressed to her forehead as the tears escaped her lids. 

She took a few deep breaths as crying wouldn't help her right now. But it didn't really help as it just pulled the scent of the room into her lungs. A mix of the chemicals he used to repair items, dust and Jasper filled her. She reached out and picked up the small pillow at the head of the cot. Jasper's shampoo and cologne were on it, but there was another scent as well. She flipped it around and took another sniff. 

There, mixed in with Jasper was her. A trace of her perfume. Left over from the one time that she did come to the pawn shop. Slipped thought the back door on her lunch break. An enjoyable encounter that was interrupted when someone enter the front. He went to speak to them she she sneaked out the back. Now she wondered what he thought when he returned and she was gone. 

Did he stand in the doorway, shoulder slumping, eye closing in resignation? Did he limp over to the cot, sink down on it and pull the pillow to him, taking in the scent on it as she was? How many times did she cause that look on his face, the one he wore as he left her apartment.

She stood and left, locking the door behind her. She put the spare key back and started down the street, hugging the pillow to her. 

“Belle?” Keeping her nose in Jasper's scent, she looked up as Lance approached. 

“Hey,” she sniffed. His brows furrowed and he sighed deeply, before pulling her into a hug.

“What happened? Did you and Gold talk?”

She nodded. “Yeah, he came to my apartment. Said you talked to him. Said,” she sighed and shook her head. “said a bunch of other stuff, then left before I could tell him he was wrong. I tried to follow him, but he wasn't in his shop.” She pulled away from the hug. “I need to talk to him. To tell him the truth. Would-would you drive me to his house?”

“Sure.” His car was in the parking lot behind Granny's Dinner. She saw him glance over at her as they pulled out onto the street. “Do I wanna know about the pillow?”

“Sometimes he sleeps in the Shop.”

Making the last turn, he reaches out and takes her hand. “It will be okay. As soon as you talk to him, get everything sorted out.” He pulled over in front his house “Do you want me to stay?” She shook her head. “Okay, I'm going back to Granny's, call me if you need me.”

She nodded and got out, waiting until he pulled away before turning to face the Pink Victorian she had never been to before. There were no lights on, but she made her way up the steps to knock. She just hoped he would let her in. There was answer so she knocked again. She heard nothing inside and bit her lip. Moving over to his driveway, she saw that his car wasn't there, but if he wasn't at his shop, he had to be here. Or he had to come home sometime. She returned to the porch and settled herself on the porch swing. 

** ** * ** ** 

A slam startled her wake hours later and she rolled off the swing. Groaning, she sat up, stretching her muscles. It was just past dawn, the light still gray as she heard the tap-step on the stairs. 

“Jasper!” she gasped, pushing herself up.

“Belle? What are you doing here?” He came the rest of the way up the step and she noticed he was still carrying the package from last night. 

“You left last night before I could respond.”

“You don't have to say anything.” His posture slumped and he leaned against the railing. “I think everything was made clear. And-Is that my pillow?”

“Yes, I tried to find you last night, I tried your shop first. You weren't there, but it smelled like you.” She picks it up again and cuddles it. Her scent in now firmly entwined with his and it makes her smile. “Please, let me say my side”

His eyes were wide where they focused on her nuzzling into his pillow. He swallowed and moved over to the swing. She sat next to him and he placed the package between them. She wanted to take his hand, but wasn't sure he would allow it. 

“If there is one thing that everyone in Storybrooke knows, it's who you are. But no one knows much about you. You've very private. When you first started talking to me, it was always when we were alone. If other people were near you would be curt. So, when are friendship became more, I thought that you would want to keep it that way. When ever we were together, I always made sure no one saw us because I thought if any one saw us, you would leave. And I would do what ever was necessary to keep you with me because,” she paused and took his hand, pressing a kiss to it. “Because I love you. I love you, Jasper.”

She looked over at him and smiled at the look of shock on his face. “I never wanted us to hide our relationship. My mistake was thinking that you did. I'm sorry. But how come you never said anything?”

“I thought if it was something you wanted, you would have told me.” He twisted on the swing, moving closer to her and reaching out to cup her cheek. “You never do anything you don't want and I thought...” He shrugged. “I was a coward. I'd rather take what you seemed willing to give me, then ask for more and lose everything. When Mr. Knight came to the shop yesterday, I let myself hope the you might want the same as me, but...”

“I made you think I was ashamed to be with you.” His silence was an answer. “I wasn't! I never have been! I-”

She stop talking as he leans over and kisses her. He kisses her again and she wraps her arms around his neck for the next one. When she leans in for the next one, he pulls back just enough so that their lips are no longer touching, “I love you.”

The whisper left her gasping even as she raised her hands into his hair and smashed their mouths together for a proper kiss. The crunching of the box was the only thing that kept them apart. 

“What's this?”

“Oh, just something I picked up last night in a strange bout of optimism.” He picked it up and turned to pull his legs up on the swing, back against the arm, and pulled her to lay against him. “I was hoping that we would talk, maybe have dinner and this,” he placed the box in her lap, “was dessert.” He opened the box and she saw three cupcakes inside. He handed her one with yellow icing. “This one was yours, and mine was this one.” He picked up the one with light green icing. “I suppose they will be just as good for breakfast. Go on.” he said after she just looked at it for a few seconds. 

He brought his own up and licked at the icing. If the green color hadn't given it away, his face as he swallowed would have. He only ever made that face for mint. If his was mint, then her was...she lick at the icing and the lemon flavor exploded in her mouth. She finished the cupcake before she even knew she bite into it. What mint did for him, lemon did for her. 

“Did you like it, sweetheart?” He snaked his arms around her waist and nuzzled her neck and shoulder.

“Yes.”

“I'm glad. I might have some left over frosting in the refrigerate.” She sighed in contentment as he nibbled on her ear.

“What's the third one for?”

“You slept on this swing, are you tired?” She tilted her head to look at him when he ignored her question. “I am.” he said, “I spent the night at my cabin. But the bed was cramped, and didn't have you in it, so I slept badly. I can assure you that the bed in my room is very comfortable.”

“Oh?”

“Yes,” He nudges her forward so he can stand. He reached a hand to help her up and his smile turns wicked. “Bring the cupcake.” 

 

the end..........

 

 

…..................except for short epilogue. 

 

Belle opened the door to Granny's Dinner and smiled at Ruby behind the counter. She ordered a light lunch as she could still taste the mint-lemon icing of the third cupcake and the way it mixed with Jasper's skin. She had a really good idea why Jasper asked her to meet him here for lunch as she was leaving his house to get a change of clothes from her apartment.

She shifted from foot to foot as the door opened and he came up to the counter next to her. 

“Miss French,” He nodded. He put his own take out order in and they stood in silence. As he only ordered a cup of soup, his was done first. When he took a step away, towards the door she called out to him.

“Mr. Gold?” Everybody in the dinner seemed to freeze and look a them. 

“Yes, Miss French?”

“There is something I wanted to speak to you about and was  
wondering if you had the time now?”

“I have a moment.” He told her, taking a step back and placing his order back on the counter. “What would you like to discuss?”

“Just this.” she lunged across the space between them, buried her hands in his hair and smashed their mouths together. Even as his tongue caressed her bottom lip, she could head the collective gasp of everyone in the dinner and the clatter his cane made as it fell when his hands came up to hold her closer and the kiss deepened. They broke the kiss and she pushed her noes against his neck. 

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Lance smiling as he shook his head at them.


End file.
